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Its sweet, summery taste hooks you like bass fisherman, before dropping you off inches above a gentle throw-pillow of tartness. I tell you, there will come a point where you will be faced with a decision: Do I pregame with this terrible Four Loko or roll up to the party as sober as a Mormon during finals week? Pick the first option and heed this list as law. As it is written, may it forever be.
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